Title: Masks
By Talmadge Gaither

Look around the room and tell me what you see
I’m sure you see masks, but not the real me
I see smooth ones, wrinkles ones, relieved ones, and more
Pay close attention and you’ll see some are torn 

Take the time to see your peers
Instead of thinking they judge and leer
Engage and inquire about their mood
There’s no instance where you’ll be sued 

Imagine a space deep in a hall
Where I catch a peer not feeling tall
Her name is irrelevant for this tale
So sit back, as this story sets sail 

“Hey, how’s your day?”
I expected an ‘okay’
She sighed “I’ve seen better”
Then the conversation began to untether
“Did you come here with a mask?”
I struggle to ask
“I mean, you seem off…”
She answered with a scoff
“You don’t have to answer, I want to see you”
She replied, “How funny, if only that were true” 

She began, “I come from a place far away from here.
At home, they stop to say ‘Good morning, how are you my dear’
Now that I’m in this town,
People think that I’m a clown
All that I can say is that I’m over it”
That’s when we decided to sit
“Tell me more” I leaned in to see something gleam
She was something special, she was much more than she seemed 

She slouched down and hugged herself quit firm
At this point she seemed to refuse to squirm
She glanced up, looked at me with deep brown eyes
Took a deep breath and then began to summarize
“It was a long road to get here, this point in my life,
I hustled, I planned, still I was met with strife
Ask anyone, they would say that I’m bright
Yet at every turn, I questioned if it was right
I am who I am, in spite of myself
I’ve learned to put my ego up on a shelf
I’m learning to be better and keep up with my work
But I can’t remember, what is the perk?” 

Jaw dropped, dead stare, I need to fix my face
Mother always said there was a time and place
I rub my hands, plant my feet, and think ‘what’s next?
Clearly this proves med students are complex’ 

“I’m sorry to hear that but we’re much the same
We’re products of a system and we’re not to blame
We all have our shields, protective but crushing
Or a double edge sword, affrontive and cutting
I choose positivity – a smile, a laugh
But at toxic levels, I can seem quite daft
Over the years. I’ve learned to believe my own mask
Forgot who I am or even how to ask” 

She sat up, looked up from her green Nike shoes
Questions on her face as if which words to choose
Have I said too much? Revealed too much of my truth?
I don’t think I said anything that would be un-couth  

She waited no longer and began to speak
Fueled by frustration or exhaustion, was this merely the peak?
“Between money and time, I’ve become destitute
In order to find pace within an institute
Of the different types of health on my mind,
Frankly most of them are in a bind
Are we being good students or neglecting our health?
I mean, to be here takes a lot of wealth
Between my body and school, I always choose the grade
I’m not proud of it but my decision is made
I can’t afford to sacrifice my career
A quick fix, I guess, will have to be a beer
I know I’ve wasted so much of my time
When I talk to my family, I feel like a mime
Trying to express my thoughts in the ways I know
Yet I sense they can’t see my feelings dwelling below” 

She cuts deep with her thoughts, profound and pure
I begin to ponder how there’s no known cure
Us students are all more alike than we think
We’re relentless and kind, everything but the sink
Yet over the years, we get more drained
And eventually become even more pained
I press my lips with no words to release
She composed herself and the internal she-beast  

“I’d be remised if I forgot to say this part”
She said with the tone of a gracious heart
“At the end of the day, I love what I do,
My thoughts are muddles and my room is a zoo
But this is my dream, day in and day out
And sometimes I simply need to pout” 

A buzz of the phone, a glance at the time
It’s time to go, no reason or rhyme
We say good bye as acquaintances… or friends?
In four years, we’ll see how it ends